Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
1994 essay by John Gray
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1992) is a book written by American author and relationship counselor John Gray. The book states that most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes, which the author exemplifies by means of its eponymous metaphor: that men and women are from distinct planets—men from Mars and women from Venus—and that each sex is acclimated to its own planet's society and customs, but not to those of the other. One example is men's complaint that if they offer solutions to problems that women bring up in conversation, the women are not necessarily interested in solving those problems, but talking about them. The book asserts each sex can be understood in terms of distinct ways they respond to stress and stressful situations.
The book has sold more than 15 million copies and, according to a CNN report, it was the "highest ranked work of non-fiction" of the 1990s, spending 121 weeks on the bestseller list. The book and its central metaphor have become a part of popular culture and the foundation for the author's subsequent books, recordings, seminars, and other ventures.
Results
Gray writes how men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in relationships. If the balance shifts, one person feeling they have given more than they have received, resentment can develop. This is a time when only communication can help to bring the relationship back into balance.
Gray further asserts men and women view giving and receiving love differently; one's intended loving expressions may not be so perceived by the other, for whom such actions are "tallied up".
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